18 and In Love?

What could be better than being eighteen and in love? Oh, you don’t even know. If I could go back, I’d do everything different” (Bennett 115).

 

Throughout the novel, many characters in the book can’t let go of their past. The emotions, the memories, and the people. They can’t seem to forget. And they don’t want to. But can we blame them?

 

How do we know there’s nothing better than being eighteen and in love? We are eighteen, and I don’t know about others, but I’m not in love. And as I’m sure you’ve heard; these are supposed to be four of our best years. Our most memorable years. But how would we know this is supposed to be our “prime time?” As Bennett continues to say, our past never leaves us. So how do we make the most of our time right now, so we have a meaningful past to look back on?

 

So many questions, yet still no answers. But unlike the novel, I don’t think we are supposed to have answers. I chose to explore this quote because when I came across it, it honestly stumbled me. Like I said, so many questions. It got me thinking, and as cliché as it sounds, it made me have a lightbulb moment. I’m sure you have also heard the saying “live in the moment” or “be in the now”. Because I have too. Countless amounts of time. From counselors, to teachers, to my parents, to my bosses. It feels like such a simple thing to do. But it’s not, and this quote from The Vanishing Half made me realize exactly that. Now, I couldn’t really tell you what the point of my blog was because it feels like I’m writing aimlessly, which may be true, however, exploring this specific part of the novel has brought me to the realization that, as a senior, it is time to start living in the now. Obviously, I try to make the most out of my free time outside of school, but I now realize I’m doing this wrong. I want to start doing things for myself that I won’t look back and regret. Life is about growth, and I don’t necessarily think this is a growing moment, however, I do think it is a turning point and has given me some direction towards the things I want to focus on and put my energy into.

 

My Personal Communications teacher constantly reminds us that “life isn’t measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.” I generally tune her out when she refers to corny quotes such as that, but I think by now I’ve realized, for the best of my own interest, I should tune her back in.