Tighter than Blood
What truly makes a bond among siblings so special? So strong? Is it because we are taught, from literal birth, too love them no matter what? Because we are told we have to love and accept them no matter the circumstances? Because for Sourdi, in the short story “Saving Sourdi”, she seems to have no problem leaving her sister, Nea, behind, in search of a new life with her husband. Sourdi’s quick replacement between her sister and men in general is why I question the bond of siblings, or family in general. Sourdi only seems to have so much love and care in her heart, that when other factors outside of family, like her husband, are added, she feels the need to make a decision between them. It makes me wonder if the bond I have with my brother and sister could be ruined because of a significant other eventually…
More importantly, however, the sibling relationships portrayed in not only these two novels but around the world throughout mainstream media sites fail to expose how when a bond so “strong” is tested by life, how much pressure can it take before it breaks?
The thought of losing a sibling because of marriage is appalling to me. Why couldn’t Nea be happy for all Sourdi’s accomplishments? But it also makes me wonder how Sourdi could be content with losing the relationship she had with her sister because of a man. My older brother, a freshman at Michigan State University this year, has served as a role model and a crucial part of my success in high school and other aspects of my life since I can remember. Not only have I looked up to him for advice when I have drama with my friends, but whenever I fight with my parents as well, he is the first person I confide in. If he ever were to vanish from my life, I don’t know how I’d react. So how was Stella complacent with losing her other half, twin sister, Desiree?
Similar to Sourdi and Nea’s relationship yet different, Stella lets her race, rather than a single person, come between her and her sister. In The Vanishing Half, author Brit Bennett explores how the universal law that “family is forever” is not a law, but simply a belief. Stella abolishes from her hometown, leaving her mother and sister in the dust, while she explores a new life of her own, acting in her best self-interest. She completely disregards the importance of a relationship with not only her family, but her twin, in order to execute the successful life she has been longing for since she realized she could pass white.
Stella left Desiree, and herself, trying to reason with Stella’s decision to vanish, for the rest of both their lives. The complexity of their relationships just continues to raise the question of how a siblings bond really is. Is it because we share the same (or similar) childhood as them, that we feel closely connected? Or is it love?
Here is Kelly Clarkston’s infamous song “Stronger (What Doesn’t Kill You)” , which accurately represents the feelings of hostility among the sibling relationships in each of the stories mentioned. The beginning of the song could be from the perspective of Nea and Desiree, while the main verse which talks about finding oneself on their own could be Sourdi and Stella’s point of view.
Kelly Clarkson - Stronger (What Doesn’t Kill You) (Lyrics)
Contradicting Stella and Sourdi's complexities, this article, written by Karen Gao, highlights how siblings do forever share a bond as they are forced too. However, what Gao fails to mention is what happens when siblings don't grow up together, sharing many similar experiences?
I know, I may sound like a broken record, but my point in all of this is to illustrate the complexity that lies beneath every sibling, or in more general terms, family relationship. As seen in The Vanishing Half and “Saving Sourdi”, and in articles and songs like the ones above, it is clear there is no real definition or universal law that can define family love. When siblings vanish from our lives, we either spend the rest of our lives trying to justify their actions, while still trying to comprehend their actions as well. What is made apparent, through all the heartbreaking stories of family members disappearing, is that everyone’s idea of a family is different. Often people find themselves searching for what “family” even is. But what I can conclude, after reading these stories, is that family is where people feel the most accepted.
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